A rather smudged photo I'm afraid as my phone camera had been in my pocket prior to the taking of the photo. Although I was intending to post this picture anyway, I decided that I could use this blog post to discuss some other things that somewhat relate to the title. Before I divulge into such details, I shall give an account of the highlights of my day.

Those living in London will certainly be aware of the extremely (although not atypical for Britain) temperamental downpour accompanied by random bouts of sunshine to lure people into a false sense of security. Alas, as I am well acquainted with 'BBC Weather' and it's functions, I have been obsessively checking the weather updates for as long as I've been able to access the internet on my phone. I braced myself for the rain with my lovely Dr Martens which serve as perfectly stylish rain boots and my favourite (non-rusting) heavy duty umbrella to fight the elements. Unfortunately, facing the window during my Law lesson I could see that the weather was far from gloomy-in fact, I regretted not bringing my sunglasses with me! I have a slight sore point when it comes to bringing my umbrella out with me as I got scorned at by a spiteful relative as a child (but later it poured with rain and I smugly kept my umbrella to myself). I sat in the lesson using my brain to command the sky to rain (because manipulation of the elements works in my fantasy world) and eventually it did. Cue my (perhaps odd) joy. Watching the people around me running through the rain and trying to defend themselves with newspapers gave a strange sense of satisfaction *grin*.

So, I settled into Starbucks when I was approached by an adorable child (who I cannot remember the name of) that decided to abandon his friends and family to speak with me. As with most children he was fascinated with the charms on my phones and questioned what each one was. A slight awkward moment when he asked me what the green poo was on my phone...I told him it was a dessert that I call my 'squishy'. This child took it upon himself to wedge himself between two sofas and ask me to rescue him, then proceeded to wedge himself between the sofas again after I pushed them back together. Soon enough, I was joined by this boys friends who all decided I was a their self proclaimed child minder. Little did they and their parents know that I was terrified that one of them would injure themselves of knock themselves unconscious on the corner of a coffee table...
Anyway, so my initial dear friend went to high five me (then I taught him how to do a low five) and suddenly felt compelled to hug me really tightly and told his mother he wanted to take me home. Obviously I was chuffed. No one has told their parents they wanted to take me home before haha! His mother humoured him 'ohhkae dear, we have a spare room we can put her in yes?' and the boy cheerfully smiled. Then his mother told him I have my own home and he suddenly got very upset. I quickly reassured him that I would see him in Starbucks again (who knows). He drank a carton of his innocent smoothie, kindly offered me some (a quick glance at the flat over chewed straw) and I politely declined. Get this though. After he finished it he gave the carton to his mother and I told him he had to say 'thank you' to his mother. He said it once but she didn't hear so he said it again, his mother looked at him in the midst of her conversation with her friends and she had an expression of such happiness that proud parents seem to possess. It was an incredibly touching moment. Perhaps I had moments like these as a child with my mother? I highly doubt it. Nevertheless, the point of this rather long ramble (as I do) is that childhood innocence is beautiful, being needed by a child is a nice feeling, parents who love the small things that children do/say to them is touching and dressing for the weather definitely has its perks. If one had to pick a downside it would be that my neglected caramel latte was lukewarm when I finally able to devote my full attention to it...

Onto the other point of comment (or in my case, elaboration), not too long ago I read a friends blog post that was partially a very sincere and heartfelt note of gratitude about how they are indebted to me as I have helped them through troubled times. Now, I don't deny having of helped this person but I'll take this opportunity to stress that friendship (in my opinion at least) is certainly not one where people feel debts are owed towards one another. It's almost like mutual benefits for both parties. Sure, I might have done a lot of that person as of today but who knows, in several years time I may need to heavily rely on that person to be my support. Then who becomes indebted to who? I want to reassure this person that I will be there for them as long as I can.

I've had countless friends in the past that I thought I could trust but it turned out they were far from that. As a (naive) person who has continually experienced their loved ones letting them down I am incredibly grateful to those who have been my little rays of hope. To me it means little things like listening to me ramble on and on and on. (Like the reader of this post is doing!) A person may feel like they perhaps owe their life to another for pulling them out of their depths of despair or giving them something to believe in when everything seemed so meaningless.

Regardless, at the end of the day, the person suffering is the one who will save themselves. They are the ones who will summon the strength to get through everything thrown at them and they are the ones to make a decision to led a life worth living. As with any other person that tries to help another, the very most you can do is to guide the person. You can command them to smile or be joyful or to snap out of their misery as much as you want but you cannot and should not blame yourself if the person then still remains the same. You cannot make make their choices for them, that is something you have no control whatsoever. The most you can do is be by that persons side when they need someone so speak to or simply be their shoulder to cry on. Indeed, others may require a great deal more encouragement to open up and regain their confidence but a true friend would never give up. I suppose I am strange in that I 'target' those who are quiet. I see it as a challenge (but by no means am I treating it as game) when I meet an intriguing quiet person. I too was once considered a recluse. I officially came out of my shell when I joined college actually. Since then I have been somewhat developing as a person (for better or for worse-you decide), although I definitely still have my very shy and awkward moments where I want the ground to swallow me up! This compels me to help others come into their own. I know how it feels to be unable to express all your emotions piling on top of one another and how helpless one can feel when their hands seem tied-unable to help anyone, let alone yourself.

When a person reflects back on their seemingly distant past, it can appear that the hurdles were simple to get over because often when we look back we can never quite truly recall what it was like to be in those depths of despair again. Maybe the person you see suffering seem to have it worse than you did, then again, maybe they don't? By nature I am a happy and optimistic person, due to family influence and strong political apathy; I have become cynical. Yet, I still retain my optimistic nature. Yes, I have created barriers but I am a complete softie, there are days where I am incredibly distrustful of most people but I also have days where I feel as if I can see some good in everyone. I'm fortunate enough to be (fairly) in tune with my emotions so I can make a fair attempt at expressing what I want to say and what others might want to say too.

I often have quotations from brilliant places I find online that I enjoy elaborating on but I have slightly refrained from them recently. This may be due to the fact that prefer doing a long-winded explanation of how I feel as opposed to find a quotation to sum it up. So here a simple and well used quote.

'Be yourself, it's the best person you can be'.

This has become a terribly rambly post now, I've probably repeated things several times but oh well. Last week I felt the effects of too much caffeine. Is that how it feels to take illegal substances? Ouchy.

Oh &&& my sorta crush liked my status update today. How lovely. It's the little things in life that matter. Like being prepared with waterproof shoes and a sturdy umbrella on a rainy day...